Basically shaved off all my hair. For no reason. I kept this up from January 2011 (cut it for a New Year’s Eve party) until sometime in January of ’12.
Now that I’m back to being a sucker who pays for her haircuts, I can honestly say that I would do this again. It was great to never have bedhead or hat-head. My hair is too fine to really do anything, so I didn’t miss the styling aspect at all. Oh, and showering was a cinch.
I’m certain that my experience is not universal, but if you are a 5’2″ white girl in her mid-2os in Massachusetts, this is what will probably happen when you cut all your hair off:
- No one will fuck with you. For the entire year I went hairless, no one catcalled me, intentionally invaded my personal space or otherwise bothered me.
- You’ll (maybe?) get strange looks. I don’t entirely know about this one, since I get strange looks all the time anyway.
- Strangers will be indifferent. At first I worried that people would think I’d gone through chemo (no, I don’t look sick enough) or that I was a (racist) skinhead (probably not, I don’t look hostile enough).
- Or uncomfortable. It will be funny when people are obviously uncomfortable but feel the need to address the problem anyway. “Well, that look is certainly… summer-appropriate” – one of my customers.
- Acquaintances will be curious. You’ll be asked about family members with cancer, botched dye jobs, if your head gets cold (winter), if your scalp burns (summer).
- Friends will want to touch it. Come on, you knew this was coming.
- No one is satisfied with, “I didn’t really feel like having hair anymore.”
- Someone in your family will just happen to get cancer and you will feel awkward. And then you will feel more awkward about feeling awkward because you’re thinking about yourself when someone else has cancer.
- Your father will hate it; this will make it really difficult for you to choose to grow it out.
- You will discover that cheap wigs are made for people who already have hair. You will buy a cute pink wig and it will be far too big for your head.
- The first summer after your hair grows back will suck. Seriously what is this crap plastered to the back of my neck?